Maturity

I’ve come to realize in my 40+years that maturity doesn’t come with ‘age’. No, just because you hit a certain age, this society considers you mature. With age, you become an adult, able to vote, drive, drink alcohol, and have other things that come with age. However, maturity doesn’t magically appear when you reach an age of majority. 

Maturity is very much a state of mind, of behavior, and of emotional stability.  I have seen 40-something year olds act like the worst children and when I have to say to them that my own children who are respectively 20 and 14, be more mature than them, it is a sad state of them as a person. These people who are immature do not want to take responsibility for themselves, their actions, or even how they are emotionally or socially. They would rather blame others for their shortcomings instead of recognizing or wanting to believe that they are at fault for the things that are happening to them. Now, not saying we don’t each have our moments but we do not live our lives being immature. 

Call me no-nonsense but I grew up with two strong parents. When I did wrong, I was held responsible. They let me make my mistakes but did help dust me off and set me back on my path. When I needed a swift kick in the ass, I got it, to just get me moving to do the things I needed to do. Part of it was growing up in the military and having to grow up fast and learn to depend on myself at a fairly young age. Where in today’s society, with the ultra-liberal witch hunters, this would be considered neglect and abuse. No, it isn’t. It is called parenting, and helping your child learn maturity in order to handle the real world. 

I’ve seen too many friends who have been coddled by parents and then freak out in their later years when suddenly they are expected to be a ‘mature adult’, and be responsible for their actions and the consequences from it. That, hey, no one is going to be doing things for me because I’ve always had someone there to do it.  Also, part of maturity, is growing. Growing emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. This never stops. I know I had a friend who was always afraid and immature, and impatient because things never happened fast enough or had direct results. I kept telling her that it takes time, and it will always be a growing experience through the rest of your life. You just have to learn how to stand on your own, learn to approach life, and most of all, learn to care and love yourself.

I struggle at times with caring and loving myself. I don’t like failure but I’ve experienced plenty in my life. All that has done is help with my maturing through the years. I know my shortcomings and I know my strengths. I just don’t let my shortcomings stop me from living. I do want to stop at times, wallow in self-pity because something isn’t happening as I expect it to. However, how is that something going to get done otherwise? Only by me.

Part of ‘growing’ is accepting your faults, accepting that you have been wrong and that you have wronged others. Also to graciously accept other’s help, sympathy, and experiences. Instead of rashly acting out in a pique of fit, think on the good times and sincerely apologize not only to others but to yourself. This is all part of being a ‘mature’ human being. Maturity isn’t age but a state of mind.